In recent months, I’ve felt time run away from me, I’ve been incredibly judgemental of people I love, and I’ve blamed various people for my feelings. Notwithstanding these obvious shortcomings, I’ve been filling this blog with advice on how to get more out of your day, judge others less, and take accountability for your life. Seriously, who do I think I am?
Who do I think I am? I am a learner.
Aren’t we all?
A few months ago, I remember being taken aback by something a yoga instructor had posted on Instagram. She wrote:
I feel like there’s a skewed perception going around about yoga teachers. It feels as though people think we cease to be human, that we’re somehow above feeling the ugly feelings, and that we can’t express the full range of emotions, such as: anger, disappointment, and resentment, without disappointing the people who look up to us…
This kind of blew my mind. I needed to read this. You see, as a yogi, she inspired me. As a person, not so much. I’d found her to be a little stand-offish, truth be told, and that wasn’t aligned with my vision of enlightened. But then I read this and the penny dropped.
Enlightened and human aren’t mutually exclusive.
If I were to write this instructor off for not being exactly what I wished her to be (and I’d been contemplating that on and off), I’d be cutting off my own nose to spite my face. I mean, I get so much from her classes. She has a voice unlike that of any instructor I’ve ever had. She plays the greatest music. And she reads the most wonderful poems and excerpts.
Oh, and she gives the greatest hugs. At our retreats, there are only a few she seems to embrace fully. Sadly, I’m not one of them. But should I really deprive myself of the many gifts she has to offer because … well, because she chooses to hug some and not others … because she’s being true to her personal needs … because dare I say it, she’s just human?
On the contrary. I ought to be thankful that — notwithstanding the journey of self-love and self-acceptance I happen to know she is on — she is willing to preach and teach love. If, instead, she was to say, “who do I think I am to preach what I, myself, struggle to practice,” I’d be missing out big time.
So, who do I think I am to try and enlighten others?
I, like my instructor, am someone who is on a personal growth journey and I am taking her lead, sharing my insights as they come. I am working (yes, working because this doesn’t come easily) to believe that what I have to share, when offered up to the right person at the right time in their life, may indeed be considered a small gift.
Who do I think I am? I am someone consciously striving to silence the imposter syndrome that continually says, “who do you think you are?” so that I can sit comfortably with who I am, understanding that what I have to give may not be for everyone, but that doesn’t make it any less valid.
Does this ring any bells for you?
Perhaps you hesitate to put your music out there because you’re no Paul McCartney. Guess what? Paul McCartney’s not for everybody * SHOCK * HORROR * and your most recent composition may very well carry the tune that, given the chance, could win the heart of someone Sir Paul left untouched.
So give credit to your talents and gifts. Set them free into the universe. Trust that they — and you — can make a real difference to others. However big or small doesn’t matter.
Don’t let your fear of being confronted by haters stop you from connecting with lovers; lovers of your music, your art, your yoga classes, your poetry, your stories, or your niche-specific expertise.
And remember, there will always be people out there who are unable to master whatever it is you’ve accomplished, whether it’s the ability to grow vegetables in your backyard, capture a dog in motion on camera, or express your deepest insecurities using the written word.
You, just as you are, have a gift to give, as do I. Let’s not hold back.
Viv for today xo
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