High heels won’t do it. Red lipstick won’t do it. Even sexy lingerie won’t do it. The secret to feeling sexy is feeling confident, be it in a pair of thigh-high Fleuvog boots or a pair of flimsy flip-flops, both of which I happen to own.

There's more to feeling sexy than what you wear.

Last week, I was chatting with my brother about my affiliation with Buddha Pants®, a company that sells these super nice harem pants that I could live in, but I don’t. I wear overalls and rompers, too. (Over my racy, lacy thongs, of course.)

I mentioned to him that I now own six pairs of these flowy pants, to which he replied, “well, I’m sure your husband appreciates that, given how sexy they are.” (Sarcasm much?)

Bro, thank you for inspiring this post!

Sexy is a state of mind.

As soon as he made that comment, these words flew out of my mouth: “I feel pretty damn sexy in my Buddha Pants, thanks!” When I got off the phone, I thought hmmm, do you honestly feel sexy in those pants? I quickly concluded that yes, as a matter of fact, I do — when I’m in a positive state of mind.

Granted, me feeling sexy doesn’t mean my husband actually finds me sexy (my brother may be correct in his assumption) but isn’t my sexiness something that I’m entitled to own?

Isn’t it up to us all to express our sexiness in whatever way we please at any given time, and share it with those we choose, preferably those who appreciate us the way we are?

I used to think sexiness was all about the look.

The thing is, though, you can pull off a look on the outside but if you feel completely out of sorts on the inside, the vibes you give off are going to scream awkwardness, imposter syndrome, or lack of confidence — none of which, in my opinion, are sexy.

When you feel at ease with yourself, however, the vibe you give off is confidence, and confidence is sexy.

Self confidence is a super power. Once you start believing in yourself, magic starts to happen. The Confused Millennial.

Confidence. Now THAT'S sexy.

It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures. Oprah Winfrey

When I’m feeling confident, I find it easier to smile and get my flirt on.

Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses. And it is only when you accept everything you are — and aren’t — that you will truly succeed. Unknown

When I’m feeling confident, my shoulders relax and my hips flow. I forget about my soft belly and I move with no inhibition. I feel authentic and playful and inclined to twirl my curly tendrils between my fingers in a sassy sorta way.

Sometimes this feeling strikes when I’m wearing a sexy dress and a pair of strappy heels. Other times, it strikes when I’m walking barefoot in the sand, wearing Birkenstocks, or kicking around in my favourite sneakers.

Confidence seems to be the one thing that most people find extremely attractive. But what is it about confidence that makes it so sexy? Why are we more likely to be drawn to someone who is confident than to someone who is insecure or needy? Barbara Aleks Hecht, Why is confidence so sexy? 

When I’m not feeling confident, though, it never strikes — regardless what I’m wearing.

When I’m not feeling confident, I don’t feel sexy. And when I’m not feeling sexy, no one’s getting any sex-y, which only goes to prove that the way I feel matters even more than how I look. Give this post some love if you agree.

Viv for today xo

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